I Would Rather Be Silent

A woman sitting on a chair journaling.

I used to ask permission
To say the wrong thing
But then I learned the
Hard way that the wrong things is
Rarely advised.

I tried to find the hard line between
permissible and truly beneficial but
Instead of lines I found a vast
Area of grey. It was like a rolling grease sea,
Lapping up against the black and white
shores and leaving me stranded
in the sand with no boat and
no confidence to walk on water.

I tried to find the place I left you
but you had gone away.
I wanted to say I’m sorry and hear you
say the same. I wanted to tell you
my new dog’s name and tell you about this breakfast
place that has the very best sauce
And I wanted to share that song that every time it
Plays, the empty seat in my car where
You aren’t fails to sing along.
But I cannot find you in the grey waters,
I cannot find you on the shore. And I’m
Not sure I’ll hear you sing again
But if I did I would sing like a bird
With you.
I’d sing and
sing but I might not say much at all,
Because saying the wrong thing
would not be worth it.
I would rather
Be silent than lose you again.


A woman holding a chicken.
I want to share this beautiful life with others and teach them the lessons we've learned along the way. Welcome to Roots and Refuge, friend. I am so glad you're here.

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